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Sex Tips

Guide to Clitoral Stimulation

Guide to Clitoral Stimulation. The G-spot is often described as a nerve-dense erogenous zone about 2 to 3 inches inside the vaginal canal, along the front wall.

Exactly how to stimulate the clitoris

1. Remind yourself that masturbation is totally healthy

Reading this guide to learn how to best pleasure your own clit? Before you read any further, take a breath.

Many people were taught that masturbation is dirty and dangerous, which should never be discussed.

So allow us to affirm: Masturbation is totally healthy and common.

You won’t go blind! You won’t get addicted! You won’t ruin yourself for partnered play! And, no, it’s not cheating on a partner, either!

Pleasuring yourself can also help untangle shame that affects confidence with yourself, partnered sex, or in a relationship.

“It’s hard to know what to ask for from your partner if you don’t know what you like,” says Diana Sadat, a sex therapist and clinical counselor in Vancouver, British Columbia. Masturbating gives you a chance to explore what feels good, she says.

“You may notice that stimulating in round patterns feels better than up and down, or that you enjoy stimulation using your inner labia over your clitoris rather than direct clitoral stimulation,” Sadat explains.

In other words, touching yourself can help someone else touch you better.

2. Start slow and soft

Sadat has one universal tip for clitoral stimulation: Give your body a chance to warm up.

“It takes your clitoris some time to get aroused and for blood to begin to flow,” she explains. “So begin to stroke around your clitoris, touching your labia without directly going for the clit for a bit until you feel ready for that type of stimulation.”

When you do start touching your clit, start out with gentle strokes. Then, apply more pressure or speed as your body asks for it.

3. Explore a variety of techniques

Different techniques can elicit different types of pleasure, and how you go about stimulating yourself is completely up to you.

Here are a few different clitoral stimulation techniques you might try:

– “Aye, there’s the rub.” Use your hand, fingers, or a sex toy to slide up and down or back and forth across your clitoris and clitoral hood.
– “Tap dance.” A gentle tapping motion on your clit and hood can help you slowly build to orgasm. Speed it up as you wish.
– “Get in the grind.” No hands required, and no need to take off your clothes. (It can be better if you leave those jeans on!) Straddle a pillow and grind your pelvis to get yourself there.
– “Peace pinch.” Use your first two fingers like a peace sign to softly pinch your clitoral hood and gently tug up and down, or slide your fingers in a back-and-forth motion.
– “Orbit the planet.” Use a finger to trace slow circles around your clit and hood, touching your labia in the process.
– “Fun zones.” Because of the unique shape of the clitoris, you may become aroused and even orgasm by massaging other erogenous zones on their own or along with the clitoris. You might try touching your labia, vaginal opening, inner thigh, perineum, or anus. Lie on your belly and reach backward for easier access to everything, including the clit. This is also a great position to get your grind on while touching the rest of yourself.
– “Penetration station.” The internal structures of the clitoris encircle the vaginal canal, so penetrating your vagina with your fingers or a sex toy can bring bliss. Combine with any of the above external stimulating techniques for a double delight.
– “Good vibes.” You can use a vibrating sex toy to enhance or practice any method mentioned above. Vibrators can be especially good for those who need to put minimal movement on their hands or wrists. Use the lowest setting first and rev as desired.

4. Try stimulating the clit through internal stimulation

If you enjoy internal stimulation, why not try stimulating the clit from the inside?

Try reaching about a third of the way from the vaginal opening and playing with a mix of pressure and stimulation on the front (or upper) wall to see what feels good.

It may take some practice and experimentation to locate, but it can be well worth it if you find that extra sensitive internal trigger spot.

How to stimulate your partner’s clitoris

1. Ask for guidance

If you’re dating someone with a clitoris, don’t be afraid to ask about your partner’s desires.

Frame the question around how invested you are in discovering their pleasure points and taking the time to do so — without placing pressure on them to perform.

You might say:

“I’d love to watch you touch your own clit, so I can learn how you like having it touched.”
“Do you enjoy the pressure I’m using right now? Or do you want it softer or harder?”

2. Get handsy

Many penetrating positions allow you space to stimulate the clit while having partner sex. The missionary, amazon, and spooning sex positions are especially good for this.

So, you might reach between your partner’s legs and play. Or, you might invite them to do the same.

3. Pull in pillow props

Grinding against something can be super pleasurable for clit owners who enjoy pressure.

If your partner is a pressure-seeker, consider artfully placing a pillow or bunched-up blankets under their pubic bone. Then, allow them to hump and pump the prop while you penetrate (or lick!) them from behind.

4. Get freaky with furniture

Use your surroundings to help you get into an optimal position. Headboards, sofa backs, and countertops are all your clit stimulation BFFs.

You might, for example, rest your back against the headboard or couch. Then, have your partner straddle your hips, grabbing the back for support. Their clit is now within perfect reach for you to put the tips above into practice.

5. Ride and glide

Your pubic mound and thighs can be a great tool for clit stimulation.

Get into a seated or slightly reclined position, then encourage your partner to slide up and down your thigh, belly, or pubic bone.

For added oomph, you or your partner might incorporate lube. Added slippery stuff will reduce uncomfortable friction and increase the feel-good glide.

6. Reverse the ride

The reverse rider position has your partner straddle you, but you’ll be facing away from them.

If you have a penis or strap on, you can use this position to vaginally or anally penetrate your partner. As you thrust, your partner can reach their hand between their legs to rub their nub.

If you and your partner both have a clitoris, slide several pillows under the bottom partner’s pelvis. This will alter the angle of your hips just enough that clit-on-clit contact becomes possible. Hot!

7. Thigh high

This is a twist on the reverse rider position. Instead of having your partner straddle both your legs, have them straddle just one.

This will allow them to ride up and down your thigh. Vaginal penetration with a penis, hand, or toy works well here.

8. Tongue twister

Does your partner enjoy oral? Use your tongue to gently circle your partner’s clitoris and hood with a mix of pressure.

Another option is to use an oral sex stimulation or air suction toy, which creates a similar sensation to oral sex when used with lube.

9. Add in a sex toy

“For some people, no matter how much pressure they use with their hands, it’s just not enough to produce an orgasm,” says Deysach.

For these folks, sex toys — and particularly vibrators — can really help achieve orgasm.

“Placed right next to or on top of the clitoris, vibrators can provide a sensation like no human body can, and for lots of people, this results in quicker, often more intense orgasms,” she says.

10. Keep it varied

Don’t be shy about mixing it up until you find the position, pressure, and rhythm that feels good to your boo.

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