The Guide to Clitoral Stimulation
The Guide to Clitoral Stimulation. If you have a clitoris or have a partner with a clitoris, you’d be wise to learn about the nerve-dense body part. Nicknamed the “pleasure nub,” the clitoris can help vulva owners experience a lot of pleasure.
While the clitoris is less of an anatomical anomaly than major media outlets may have tricked you into believing, learning a few touch techniques can help.
That’s why we reached out to experts and dug through the research to put together a guide for clitoral stimulation. Below, learn how to touch your (or a partner’s) clit in a way that’s seriously satisfying.
Plus, find out the truth about clitoral anatomy. (Spoiler alert: It’s more than just a tiny hotspot).
First things first: What is the clit?
The clit is a nerve-dense body part responsible for many-a-orgasm.
“The clitoris has the most nerve endings per square inch of any part of the human body,” explains Caitlin V. Neal, resident sexologist for sexual hygiene and body care company Royal.
Actually, the clitoris serves no biological function other than pleasure, she says.
But that doesn’t mean it’s an unimportant structure.
“When we consider the importance of pleasure to the procreation of our species, the clitoris seems pretty vital,” Neal says. “Increasingly, modern science points to the vital role of pleasure in procreation.”
Where is the clit, exactly?
Good question! The most common answer to this question is: The clit is the pea-shaped structure at the apex of the two labia.
And while that’s part of the clitoris, that’s only the external portion. There are actually external *and* internal components to the clitoris.
“On the outside of the body, you can find the glans of the clit, usually covered by a nifty hood that protects it from too much stimulation,” explains longtime sex educator Searah Deysach, the owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure-product company in Chicago that ships world-wide. “But inside the body, the clitoris has a whole hidden structure.”
It has legs (or crura) and vestibular bulbs that wrap around the vagina, she explains. The legs and the bulbs contain erectile tissue that expands when sexually aroused.
“The shape is often referred to as a wishbone, with some parts of the wishbone being visible on the outside of the body, but with the majority of it being hidden inside,” Deysach says.
(Some experts say the clit looks like an upside-down flower, with large petals extending inside the body that embodies the vaginal canal).
How to stimulate your partner’s clitoris
1. Ask for guidance
If you’re dating someone with a clitoris, don’t be afraid to ask about your partner’s desires.
Frame the question around how invested you are in discovering their pleasure points and taking the time to do so — without placing pressure on them to perform.
You might say:
“I’d love to watch you touch your own clit, so I can learn how you like having it touched.”
“Do you enjoy the pressure I’m using right now? Or do you want it softer or harder?”
“Which sensation feels best? This [demo]? Or this [demo]?”
2. Get handsy
Many penetrating positions allow you space to stimulate the clit while having partner sex. The missionary, amazon, and spooning sex positions are especially good for this.
So, you might reach between your partner’s legs and play. Or, you might invite them to do the same.
3. Pull in pillow props
Grinding against something can be super pleasurable for clit owners who enjoy pressure.
If your partner is a pressure-seeker, consider artfully placing a pillow or bunched-up blankets under their pubic bone. Then, allow them to hump and pump the prop while you penetrate (or lick!) them from behind.
4. Get freaky with furniture
Use your surroundings to help you get into an optimal position. Headboards, sofa backs, and countertops are all your clit stimulation BFFs.
You might, for example, rest your back against the headboard or couch. Then, have your partner straddle your hips, grabbing the back for support. Their clit is now within perfect reach for you to put the tips above into practice.
5. Ride and glide
Your pubic mound and thighs can be a great tool for clit stimulation.
Get into a seated or slightly reclined position, then encourage your partner to slide up and down your thigh, belly, or pubic bone.
For added oomph, you or your partner might incorporate lube. Added slippery stuff will reduce uncomfortable friction and increase the feel-good glide.
6. Reverse the ride
The reverse rider position has your partner straddle you, but you’ll be facing away from them.
If you have a penis or strap-on, you can use this position to vaginally or anally penetrate your partner. As you thrust, your partner can reach their hand between their legs to rub their nub.
If you and your partner both have a clitoris, slide several pillows under the bottom partner’s pelvis. This will alter the angle of your hips just enough that clit-on-clit contact becomes possible. Hot!
7. Thigh high
This is a twist on the reverse rider position. Instead of having your partner straddle both your legs, have them straddle just one.
This will allow them to ride up and down your thigh. Vaginal penetration with a penis, hand, or toy works well here.
8. Tongue twister
Does your partner enjoy oral? Use your tongue to gently circle your partner’s clitoris and hood with a mix of pressure.
Another option is to use an oral sex stimulation or air suction toy, which creates a similar sensation to oral sex when used with lube.
9. Add in a sex toy
“For some people, no matter how much pressure they use with their hands, it’s just not enough to produce an orgasm,” says Deysach.
For these folks, sex toys — and particularly vibrators — can really help achieve orgasm.
“Placed right next to or on top of the clitoris, vibrators can provide a sensation like no human body can, and for lots of people, this results in quicker, often more intense orgasms,” she says.
10. Keep it varied
Don’t be shy about mixing it up until you find the position, pressure, and rhythm that feels good to your boo.
